Tag Archives: Friends

To date or not to date? is that a kitten…

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Over the last few weeks I seem to have attracted a great many comments about my lack of interest in dating. I spent a great deal of my time in relationships that provided memories of pants (not in a good way) and thought that I was happy on the single shelf looking out at the world of relationships content that I was not going to pursue anything at this time, but then this happens…

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Baby Stan the cat was born, he still lives with his mummy but as soon as I mentioned that I was going to be the proud owner of a third cat I became bombarded with strange pictures, comments and pitying looks. Heck my son even turn to me and said “Mum you need to start dating”!

So in five weeks time Stan will be moving in, this I have been informed is now or never on the dating calendar of my life. God forbid that I do not marry before the age of forty, I shall not of course end up on the shelf I shall self combust in a fluffy ball of discarded cat hair. Who exactly decided that forty is the golden age by which we must be tied to our life partner till death separates us and all that remains are kittens and mourning? And Why? oh Why? Is being single and without a plus one such an affliction? These questions have been spiralling in my head along with one other ….

Why is this bothering me? I have started assessing dating potential in the men I meet… It happened all of a  sudden, this chap was wearing a great shirt we chatted and in my head I had begun to list reasons NOT to date him, we had only just met there was no indication of a potential date but no Becs brain hits overdrive and rules him out – no woman can consider dating a man that raises his pinky drinking from a pint glass can she?

Great shirt man was just the start.  Last evening I ended up in conversation with someone who kindly informed me that I am “not bad looking” so at my age I should consider the younger man, a curve ball that hit me in the side of the head it was so unexpected. Oh yes because most of the men my age are taken or passed it… I do not think that is what he ment in this observation but really me a cougar I don’t think I could.

Through all of this, Stan’s moving in date has been set and as long as weaning goes well he should arrive home in 5 weeks. I have been badgered and cajoled teased and tormented at my ongoing single status, my resistance to change this might (this is a big might) have been eroded slightly. Have I succumb to the will of the masses? not at all. Am I going to end up the mad cat lady in the purple hat ? probably.

But just incase, to give me options if you know of a tall, single, good looking chap, who has great arms, a fabulous sense of humour, endless patience an ability to iron and is between 35 and 45 in age perhaps just… I might think about it.

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A to Z – thoughts and thanks my reflection

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So it is done, the A to Z has been packed up in April’s hand luggage and placed on the carousel of memories it is time to move to the next challenge to set course on my next path in the blog-o-sphere but before we wave good-bye to April and the fun that has been had. I would like to share reflections on what has been learnt and enjoyed over the course of the 26 posts from A to Z.

Blogging takes time, commitment and brain cells. Tales from Tedium was but a few posts old when I signed up. Posting to schedule was nigh on impossible at times but between long shifts and needed sleep breaks I did get the whole alphabet covered. Time is precious and to create a post worth reading takes contemplation planning and preparation followed by editing, tweaking and revising. I shall not be winging it next year, next year I shall properly prepare and perhaps even pre write some letters to make sure I keep up.

I am very lucky. Posting on gratitude thinking of  things I appreciate and am blessed to have experience has been a fabulous exercise for me personally. During the month of April there have been a number of issues that needed to be dealt with M – moan day is perhaps the only evidence of this frustration that dripped into the blog posts https://talesfromtedium.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/m-moan-day , so sorry about that blip. I maintained a positive outlook during challenging times and I am sure that it was my alphabetical obsession with being grateful that facilitated this. (Lets not get to a chicken and egg situation here but you know where I am heading.)

On to the lessons, I can improve! Thanks to the stats I can peer into the blog records and see what was enjoyed most, what you as my readers have liked and also what might have fallen a bit flat.
1st lesson , comments posted on my mobile phone do not upload, I am sorry to those who thought I was being ignorant and not answering I tried and failed but will repost shortly.
2nd lesson (needed) my wordpress basics are just that BASIC I need to improve layouts and menus to make things easier to navigate.
3rd lesson, is to stay a blog ahead, I am going to aim to always keep something up sleeve and to be able to prepare properly to post.
4th lesson, a big part of the A to Z is to visit other blogs I tried and while I have read over 500 posts on other A to Zs  this is just a drop in the ocean. Next year I shall have to set aside dedicated reading time.

Time to say thanks!
Today I am tired but I am thankful. I am grateful that I did not have to get out bed till lunch time (ok 10 am) I am please I sat there with my laptop and read. My daily reads have tripled many others I have liked some I have laughed with. To each  blogger a huge thank you for sharing!

A special thanks goes out to you the reader. There are some of you I know in person, (Swedish one don’t kick my butt this is not an Oscar speech gone wrong! Friends from long ago, to followers from recent weeks I thank you. Your clicking of the like buttons and comments have cheered me on and I shall not forget this. A special thanks to  http://galeriaredelius.wordpress.com , K.Jacqleene from http://graceandcandor.wordpress.com ,Joe from http://joeowensblog.wordpress.com and http://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com who have shown constant support in their words over the last month.

One last substantial thank you, a gift of appreciation in words to the organisers of the challenge to Arlee Bird, at Tossing it Out, http://tossingitout.blogspot.co.uk and all who helped him behind the scenes. Sir I salute you.

So now April is over,
the challenge has been done,
It time to keep on blogging more,
it is time to have some fun.
To all who posted A to Z
Who typed the A,B C
Unleash your keybords once again
It’s time for typing free.
As May sun shines upon us
Just have a little rest
The April challenge was brilliant
As a participant I was blessed.
I thank the Genius Arlee Bird
His challenge took on wings,
A brilliant months of posting
On so many different things.
In just eleven months
The A will call to me.
For one things guaranteed
I will participate in next April’s A to Z.

Zara Kuchi

 

Z may have been on my letters of doom list when I first signed up for the A to Z challenge. No sooner had I started to panic about it than inspiration came in the form of a Facebook post. For today I am to show thanks gratitude and appreciation for art, I know this does not start with the letter Z but an old school friend, a talented artist Zara Kuchi is my Z of choice.

When I moved from Wales I lost contact with a number of class mates, by the power of Facebook many of us have made contact again. I found (not surprisingly) that great talent had grown. For Z today I would like to share my appreciation of the art of Zara Kuchi, please look her up on Facebook where more of her work is available to peruse.

I have shared a few of my favourite pieces,

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This Zingy Cockerel makes me smile, the first time I saw him I wanted to hang him on my wall I am sure that the life and movement that is captured on the canvass spills into the room where he now sits.

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If music could be captured in brush strokes then I am sure that this handsome chap has been painted with a fine tune. I love the energy that is conveyed and the concentration that has been captured.

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This beautiful trio of miniatures, so tiny and delicate, so precise. The delicate hand that has produced these images leads me to wonder what each of the subjects might be focusing on, could be thinking of.

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The last of the painting that I shall post is this one, again the depth of spirit that is held on this canvas intrigues me, the light dancing on the skin to me the subject is emitting hope seeing something beyond the canvas that draws me to seeing her image as the subject herself.

So my Z of choice, my last post in the A to Z this year is a post to thank Zara Kuchi for producing such diverse delicate and vibrant work. If you would like to look her up please click https://www.facebook.com/ZaraKuchi

I am grateful to all of you who have followed the posts this April and hope you stick around to see what the rest of the year will bring.

S.O.S … seeing the best, simply taking it slow or staying single.

Yes I begin this post with an S.O.S for to blog on gratitude as part of the April A to Z is substantially more difficult than one could assume! So many options, so many hurdles to overcome. Do I post from the heart and sod the consequence of purging my soul to the blogosphere?
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Shooting from the hip, jumping in with both feet, acting first and then seeing what the outcome is. I wish I didn’t but hey we all have flaws. To shoot from the hip can and does often backfire. But I always speak the truth, take people as I find them not as rumour suggests and try to see the best in those I meet. So should I be grateful for these qualities? Perhaps, I shall let you be the judge.

The last time I dated, I offered a disclaimer. I “specialise in shit” my date bless him did not know what to say to that so I explained. “I see the best in people, sometimes that is great, but when you mix that with my stubbornness I seem to end up in the shitty situations clearing up the mess.” Sarcasm was identified and fortunately he was able to laugh at my satirical appraisal of my dating history. I don’t mean to pigeon-hole my past, but for easy of tale telling there was; the gambler, the man-slut, the alcoholic, the bully, the liar and then the painful optimist.

Now as a specialist in dating failures I did not want this lovely funny man to think he would be the next on the list in my own personal disaster zone. The truth is I have survived, I chose to become involved with these people because I saw the best in them. Sadly focusing on this stopped me from seeing the worst until one or both of us was too involved and well people get hurt in the fall out from the failed relationship it is inevitable. So we talked we laughed we smiled, we shared our thoughts and histories and we took things slow, things didn’t work out but hey we shared some fun and still think of each other with fondness.

Single life is simpler, so you would think. I am grateful for the time and the freedom I have as a single girl (yes mother I know). I have not dated in over a year and feel no inclination to do so. Should I upset the status quo? I’ll just go with the flow.

I spoke to Swedeling about my S post. I was stuck, swamped with suggestions and endeavouring to produce something worth reading, “sing alongs” were suggested and hey to be fair I am grateful for those. The sport of Wisk singing should be in the Olympics as far as I am concerned. One evening we  shared a top-notch Abba fest in Swedeling’s new flat. The kitchen window had been open as the three of us, the Swede, her hubster and I belted out S.O.S at 9pm powered by beer and giggles. Surprisingly the next morning my dear friends’ neighbours thought we were an Abba tribute of sorts and she suggested that we were “professionals practicing”.

Silliness keeps us going when the serious side of life takes it toll, or so I like to think. The A to Z posts have led to a great deal of reflection for me. There have been many tears shed over my 36 years on the planet but these are cast into the shadows by the smiles, so far I have survived! For each of my dating disasters there is gratitude, each taught me lesson, made me stronger, each had their redeeming qualities. I am sad that at times I should have walked away or ran for the hills, but the stubborn me stayed to fix things until the reality of the situation was undeniable.

I am unsure why this became my S of choice, perhaps today became a day to purge my thoughts to see what was going on in my head. I might be a specialist in shit, but I have chosen a new path if that means walking alone then so be it. Sadly this is the end of the S post, so I shall bid you good cheer till tomorrow I am pleased to see myself as a strong person, I am grateful for the smiles and the singing, So I might have dealt with some shit along the way but haven’t we all so today I am pleased I am still standing, still smiling, still single.

K – Kitchen moments … there will be more to come!

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Keeping to the plan, I should be reflecting on kitchen moments, they are many, many memory moments in countless kitchens. From the gathering around Formica sides of the uni days and before, to more recent get-togethers at pine tables in the posh end of town as the song goes you’ll always “find me in the kitchen at parties”.

We call it the heart of the home, for it is the place where we prepare the feasts for the family, food to share with friends. Breaking bread, communing in the simplest of forms it starts on the sides of the kitchen so there is no surprise that in a party you feel the heart beat of the home while you chat, you giggle, the cool kids come together in kitchens.

There are the standers, those who seem to hover and chat, leaning and laughing as the time passes. Chair surfers who cruise from one conversation to the next. Nibblers listening to the going’s on around them whilst double-dipping bread sticks in the humus. At the centre of proceedings the host, topping up glasses checking that the guests in their home is more than ok. Roles swap, drinks are drunk as time passes we move on but with us we take memories of the nights we share, those kitchen moments.

To open your house, to prepare food in your kitchen, to share at your table is a gift we should be eternally grateful for. To provide sustenance, feeds not only the stomach but the need for us to be we are all that is said human beings not human doings. A Sunday lunch cooked by or for a friend might remind you of the family meals share in childhood. Stirring the cooking pot, stirring up shared moments.

I am sorry for tonight’s post is short, rushed and will have to be revisited.  Today I am thankful for the kitchen moments, for the dishes that I cooked for others and the plates that have been passed to me, the glasses raised, laughs shared and the songs that have been badly sung!

H – How pleased we were with our aprons? Hilarious moments.

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There is nothing worse than someone telling you a funny story which at its conclusion falls flat with out a giggle. So I shall declare now that this will not be a funny post just an appreciation of funny moments, there is nothing to laugh at here.

Have you heard the joke about the clown that got fired from the circus, he took his employers to court for fun-fair dismissal. Ok so you didn’t laugh, nor did I when that particular little gem of humour was shared the first time, yet the telling of that gag has become it’s own joke part of pub life. We might all roll our eyes but comedy is all in the …
… timing.

Or perhaps not, I am lucky for I have some very funny friends, funny haha and funny odd, however I am aware that I fall into at least one of those categories. During sleep-overs as a kid I recall laughing till my sides ached with antenna’s in my hair made from bendy curlers, trying to balance stacks of mini chedders on my forehead. The actions of the downright weird I know, yet shared moments remembered with a smirk.

Other childhood moments when we truly laughed included a time when one of our classmates stitched her sewing project to her skirt, at the time we howled with laughter. Her cries of “I am stuck stuck stuck and it’s not funny” made us laugh all the more but this saddens me as an adult, for it is my first memory of laughing at some one else’s expense.
To be fair, my fellow student sustained no injury (other than to her pride) and her sewing project was completed when it had been unstitched from her skirt.

When I recently made my Swedish friend howl with laughter cannot declare that I remained unscathed. Crossing the road should be a simple thing but no, not for me with hands in my pockets I located the pavement in a most undignified manner, as the kerb jumped up in front of me I found myself Rugby tackling an innocent wheelie bin while I limped and hobbled up her stairs to dress my wounds, she followed doubled over with giggles at the fact that no alcohol was consumed in the production of that disaster.

Comedy is not all in the timing, it is in the sharing. Can you name a time when you have stood without other human influence and found something properly funny when you laughed out loud alone? I will not admit to being able to think of such a moment in case those men with back fastening jackets want to collect me again.
The people who you stand with as the tears run down your cheeks and you ache from the involuntary chuckles, they make those moments funny so to them I say thank you. I also need to show my appreciation to two good traveller buddies who returned from a recent trip to Italy and brought gifts.

Gratitude is expressed today for many things, I am grateful that i giggle lots and have friends to giggle with. I am grateful that we do not laugh at the misfortune of others unless they are laughing themselves. I am mostly chuffed to bits that my apron from Italy was presented to me yesterday. Clearly my travelling friends had been overwhelmed with the culture and history of their holiday… here is a photo of Swedeling and I modeling or new pinnies
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I must state that mine will stay in the kitchen drawer when mother visits. We have howled with laughter while modelling them, I am thankful for the smiles that have been shared the laughs that are laughed and in the bigger picture,  that my apron needed the largest plate to hide my modesty… the smaller pate on the left was far far more than ample in that aprons case.

What the F- Fungi Freinds and Family.

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First time I tried to write this morning I found myself flummoxed as what to put. The fosters fairy may have exerted her influence on me yesterday, Friday night with friends laughing and chatting lead to fuzzy headed Saturday. This morning I have been flagging to say the least. So I wrote a list made coffee and found myself some breakfast…

Mushrooms on toast, it is a favourite on delicate mornings, I think it has helped. So to my F words. Over a beer or three the “F-ing” possibilities were debated. It seems there is a theme with my friends, as flatulence was the first thing someone said… thank you for farting would just be an absurd. Fungi however, I am grateful for them this morning.

Fluke and I wander as often as time allows. A favourite place to walk is the woods above the town. Kicking up leaves, squelching through mud puddles, feeling the changing seasons around you I might only be a few minutes from the urban sprawl but I am free. Often as we walk I reminisce, Fluke is not the best conversationalist. Friends introduced us to the woodland walks, while Bob, Stella and Fluke sniffed their way along the footpaths, we wandered nattered and laughed, there are many moments in the woods that made me smile.

One occasion Fluke met a friend, he wanted to be a forager, thought himself as Somerset’s answer to Bear Grills. The three of us walked for best part of an hour to the middle of the woods. There is a water tower where paths conjoin here we stopped, selected a bench and began to make a brew.

Fires in woodlands are a big no no! I am aware of this and when dog walking I only ever want to leave footsteps. My friend thinks the same way but he was a good boyscout and came prepared. He pulled a Ghilli/Kelly kettle out of his rucksack. Lit a small fire in the base and waited for the whistle to tell us the water was boiling.

Well we waited, poked the little fire and waited some more… Soon enough (about 30 mins later) I was sat in the sunshine drinking tea. Fluke was happy as the Water tower is a great place to play fetch,  we chatted, giggled and perhaps even flirted a little it was fun.

When you walk with dogs you meet people it is an inevitable pleasure of being a pet owner, add a curious water boiling contraption and the possibility of tea on a brisk day and we became a magnet for other dog walkers. Every person that passed greeted us with smiles and a pair of local foragers stopped to admire the kettle and share their favourite locations for mushroom hunting.  A place I still need to explore.

Food and drink brings people together, it might be a fundamental of life, providing sustenance but the act of fellowship that comes from breaking bread with friends or family feeds the soul. Do you recall the last time you opened your home, laid the table to share a meal with friends and family?

For sure there have been many times that bring a smile if I muse over food related gatherings of the past, some of the funniest have been f**ked up dinners.  Burned Cous Cous, (yes that is possible). Lime cordial being used as a substitute in a recipe (that was a florescent dinner). Custard that you could eat with a knife and fork while hot (Dan still will not risk custard).  All of these moments are punctuated with the silly laughs of shared friendships and family moments.

My family and friends. I have no idea where the F’ I would be without them, so today on the F-day I am appreciative of fellowship and friendship. Fortune shone upon me when I found my friends when I was gifted my family. For this I am forever grateful.

For those who haven’t met him … this is Fluke.

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